WEEK 1 NCAA FOOTBALL PICKS

Updated: Sep 9, 2019

It's week 1 in the NCAA... wait it's not week 1? Last week was week 1? Those games were all cake walks. As far as I'm concerned, until there is an NFL Sunday of RedZone, all other games are Preseason.


SO IN WEEK 1 OF THE NCAA....


There's a lot going on. It's an amazing fall day out there. Football, glory glory football, is in the air.


OK I am actually on my way to play pickup basketball. But there's so much football in the air that I am liable to stiff arm a defender and drive block the first guy I set a screen on into the third row. Low man will most definitely win today unless there's some partaking before the game and then high man will probably win.


NCAA FOOTBALL IS BACK! Not the video game, which sucks because depression is setting in from not winning a Heisman in like 12 years. My legacy feels tarnished. I need the back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back heismans and national championships to feel whole again. Do your job, EA Sports. PS - who the fuck is Heisman? He/she had a great name, that's all anyone knows I think. Anyone who can tell me who Heisman is/was without looking it up wins a free Colombian Decaffeinated Crystals shirt from me.


IT'S PIGGIN' TIME ! WHICH TRANSLATES ROUGHLY TO IT'S PICKIN TIME !




WEEK 1 NCAA FOOTBALL LIVE PICKS: HOME TEAM IN CAPS


OHIO STATE (-15.5) vs. Cincinnati... Over/Under 52.5


Urban Meyer ain't walking through that door. Ezekiel Elliot/Braxton Miller/Cardale Jones/Curtis Samuel/Dwayne Haskins ain't walking through that door. But Justin Fields is. The transfer from Georgia who magically was granted permission to play immediately this season has something to prove in his actual debut against a real team. Cincinnati hardly qualifies as a real team but they beat UCLA last week which counts for something. Ohio State should get the crowd going early with some razzle dazzle and I foresee Ohio State winning with a big offensive day from Fields.


Picks: Ohio State -15.5 / Over 52.5


Final Score: Ohio State 45 - Cincinnati 20.


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CLEMSON (-16.5) vs. Texas A&M... Over/Under 63.5


It's going to be a shootout for the Tigers in their first big test for a perfect season. The spread scares me at 16.5, but if I had to lean one way or the other I'd ride with Clemson. I think Jimbo Fisher and Dabo both try to light it up and succeed to hit the over here.


Picks: Over 63.5


Final Score: Clemson 47 - Texas A&M 30 (see what I did there)


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Illinois (-21.5) vs. UCONN... Over/Under 59.5


UCONN can't be that bad that they are 3 touchdown dogs to the Fightin' Illini, are they? Probably are, considering the program is about 4 years overdue from being shut down entirely. The UCONN basketball team already bolted for the Big East but the football team remains in no mans land. I'm going with my boys at U...C...O...N...N to cover the spread coming off the huge 24-21 win over Wagner. It's a classic battle of the unbeatens, as Illinois smothered Akron last week by a score of 42-3. Not in the Huskies house, though. I hate to brag but I did a little research on this game and check out this stat:


The Huskies, which went 0-8 in American Athletic Conference play last season and set the single-season FBS records for most yards and points allowed, matched their 2018 win total with the victory last week.


Hell yeah. Nothing like a team riding high matching their previous season's win total before Labor Day. Fade the Huskies at your own risk.


Picks: UCONN +21.5 / Under 59.5


Final Score: Illinois 34 - UCONN 17


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Miami (-5) vs. NORTH CAROLINA... Over/Under 46


Miami lost their opener to Florida. North Carolina won their season opener against South Carolina. What goes up, must come down. Miami has their backs against the wall trying to avoid going 0-2 and I think they accomplish that feat handily today against the boys in powder blue. It's all about the U. It's all about the U.


Picks: Miami -5, Miami ML -210


Final Score: Miami 31 - North Carolina 10


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WEEK 1 PICKS RECAP:


Ohio State -15.5

Ohio State/Cincy Over 52.5

Clemson/Texas A&M Over 63.5

UCONN +21.5

UCONN/Illinois Under 59.5

Miami -5

Miami ML -210



PS - I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL RIGHT NOW. MY BRAIN IS 90% FOCUSED ON BASEBALL AND THE METS, 80% FOCUSED ON THE NFL, AND 15% CONCENTRATED POWER OF WILL. SOMETIMES THE BEST BETS ARE THE ONES YOU DON'T KNOW WHY AND THAT'S THE WAY IT IS -CELINE DION.


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