Updated: Aug 28, 2019
The Braves are the worst. It feels like in the last few years people have forgotten how annoying the Braves are. The Phillies were the big dog in the late 00s/early 10s winning the 2008 World Series and 5 straight NL East titles from 2007-2011. The Nationals have been the favorites in the NL East for most of the last 5-7 years with Scherzer/Strasburg/Harper/Rendon carrying the team to a division title and ensuing first round exit in the playoffs in 4 out of 6 years following the Phillies 5peat. The Mets had their fling in 2015, and yes the Braves are the reigning 2018 NL East champs, but for the most part it's been Phillies and Nationals that Mets fans and the entire MLB have had their eyes on in the NL East.
Well fuck that. It's time to start hating the Braves again. The same Braves who won 11 straight NL East titles from 1995-2005. The Chipper Jones, Freddie Freeman, Go fuck yourself Braves who deserve every ounce of hate they get. The Mets can NEVER put it together against Atlanta whether it's at home or on the road. Playing the Braves is torturous because the outcome is always inevitable. It's just a matter of how the Mets are going to lose to these dickheads.
I mean look at this face:
He is literally the grown up version of Buzz from Home Alone.
And look at his girlfriend:
It was Players weekend with those ugly uniforms and stupid nicknames. Freddie Freeman went by "Phillip" which I can only assume is his nickname because Phillip is as bland of a white person name as it gets and Freddie Freeman is the ultimate bland white person. Clearly as evidenced above, he should have gone by Buzz and the Mets should have flashed that picture of Buzz's girlfriend on the jumbotron every time he came up to bat.
Well fuck Freeman, Fuck Acuna-Matata (another wasted opportunity for a sick nickname), and fuck Josh Donaldson who I actually have to respect for his nickname being Bringer of Rain. So stupid yet so awesome. But seriously what a piece of white trash, fuck yourself Josh you look like you're running late for a meeting with your parole officer.
What I'm trying to say is stop sleeping on the Braves hate. Yes I hate the Phillies. Yes I hate the Nationals. But really all of that hate pales in comparison to the hate I have for the Atlanta Braves. I couldn't even stand when the Mets signed Jeff Franceour and Tom Glavine. Even though Franceour turned out the be the man, I still can't get over the hate I had for him as the RF for Atlanta throwing out every Mets runner ever. And obviously Glavine can suck a dick for his sabotage efforts in 2007.
It's time to get back to our roots, Mets fans, and use all of our hate muscles on the team that truly deserves it. It's #TeamFUCKAtlantaBraves from here on out.