Just imagine a total rebrand of sports for the New world. Here are some competitions I'd like to see
5. Pushup Man
Who can do the most pushups in a row. Like a NYC Marathon but of just pushups. I need to see someone crank out over 200 pushups in one go. Itd be remarkable. Slogan can be something like:
"They don't push-up, They push down into the Earth"
4. Dog Walker
the most amount of dogs one person can walk. Speed, style and success all factor in. I want to see someone handling over 20 dogs yet still have to pick up doodoo. There can be distractions like hot dogs (both food and just a hott looking dog), The: "uh oh, surprise owner visit" where you have to contain and restrict the dog with serious abandonment issues whose owner just appeared .. There's also the "Owner hasnt shown up and the dog is your problem now" where you take the dog home and adopt it.. Also the Give me my money - where you have to get paid. The "dont get bitten" game where thers the one bad dog and you have to figure it out.... there's the "mean mailman"who tries to kick the dogs, And of course, dog fighting.
3. Sign Spinning Competition
Americas favorite competition just got a little more physical. No longer solo, It's teams filled with sign spinners trying to protect their sign that must stay spinning. The Sign must always stay up. It'll be 1 team on defense, the other on offense. Then switch it up. You have 5 opportunities to go the longest spinning your sign... Obviously the whole point of this is for me to see a championship celebration where the winning team lifts up and starts spinning a person like one of their crazy signs
We all trained for this as kids: How many groceries could you carry. All in one trip? AND close the trunk? And dont give me the "my mom wasnt around", "we had no groceries to carry". Cause you motherfucker couldve gone to the grocery store and made some money bagging groceries, then bagged the old lady and stole her car.
Competition can include both plastic and paper bags. "Dont Drop The Eggs!" or "Where Are The Eggs" where the athlete gets pelted by hundreds of eggs. But THe obvious money maker, the fan favorite segment is :
"Orange you glad you have 30 seconds to collect as many stray oranges in the car as possible"
Winner gets nothing and probably has a lot of blood circulation issues due to the bags
1. Cup Stacking
But instead of using plastic cups theyre glass
We're all very alone