It's official. The Mets are still huge pussies. They have officially parted ways with Carlos Beltran and will restart their search for a new manager a mere 25 days before pitchers and catchers report to spring training.
Beltran was tied to the Astros' cheating scandal from 2017 in which players in the dugout would relay pitching signs to the hitters by banging on a trash can and drumming on a streetlight. And while the MLB decided that Beltran's part was not significant enough to warrant punishment (or maybe they just didn't want to deal with the MLBPA because Beltran was a player in 2017, but that's neither here nor there), the Mets in their almighty wisdom have decided to follow their own moral compass (ha) and give Carlos a verdict of guuiiilllttyyyy. It was reported that they mutually parted ways, but only an idiot would believe that the Mets didn't fire his ass. Thanks, Carlos. You didn't even have to lose a game in horrific fashion to bring the Mets back to the limelight. You truly were the right man for the job in November but apparently not in January. How the turn tables have...
And now we begin again the search for the manager we already searched for and found but then fired because Mets PR is about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop and they caved to mounting pressure from the talking heads when in reality the only voice that mattered was the governing body of the league and that governing body already spoke and said he is free and clear...... *breathe* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway.... here are the candidates that we previously turned down and now have to crawl back to like a rejected junior prom date:
THE RED ROCK'EM SOCK'EM ROBOT
CARL BELTRAN - DEFINITELY NOT CARLOS BELTRAN
THE GUY FROM ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD
IS JOE GIRARDI STILL AVAILABLE?
and the winner is... THE GUY FROM ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD. I wrote you a poem to celebrate this monumentous achievement:
Congratulations, Angels in the Outfield guy.
Let those wings fly.
And say bye-bye to having a team that will try.
But the media, oh my,
they will surely make you cry.
Because you suck you faggot.
Say it with me:
PS - I never thought I'd be on #TeamMendoza but all in all, thank you Yessica for your comments today. It appears you are the only person on the Mets payroll that a) is not a pussy and b) has a set of balls. Ironic.
Fuck Mike Fiers.