top of page

taketh and giveth

and im still stuck here writing blogs.

No WRI NAMO or whatever the shit it was , went horrible. Ive almost completed my off-broadway suicide. But am just a few pennies and excuses shy of finishing er up.

Times a flat circle right? Im not worried

Some things i am worried about:

Adam Gase is still the head coach and will be for next year. But hopefully thats not the case after we embarrass ourselves to pittsburgh and then buffalo over these next 2 weeks. Adam Gase, the "Qb Whisperer", The "coffee boy" to Peyton Manning was seemingly only good at one thing: getting coffee. and nothing gets Macs nipples harder than a good ol' coffee boy.

(CSB Has a never before seen written out transcript of the interview between Gase and ex Jets GM Mike Maccagnan)

Mike Maccagnan: Adam I'm going to be completely honest with you. I dont care about what happened in Miami, or, even in Chicago, mind you.

Adam Gase: Well I'm glad to hear it. I too don't think the media propr -- (interuppted)

Mac: No. No They certainly did not. How are you holding up?

Adam: I just keep my head down. Stay occupied with football.

Mac: Any....anything else?

Adam: I mean sure, family keeps me busy too..

Mac: Sure.., Family. I guess.

Adam: Well that, and i gotta keep my mind occupied. Stay hungry. Stuff like beating the Pats again.. you know? Developing more than just a coach , but also as a human.

Mac: Sure. Human. Pats... Look Adam im going to cut right to it. I dont care for any of that. See what i do care about was your time with Peyton.

Adam: Alright. Yeah. It was as simple as every single day staying consistent with him and never once letting him down. Just be in his thoughts, be his lifeline. Its how i learned about the 'qb guru' responsibilities. See I knew what he wanted and I made sure to get it to him

Mac: youve got my attention..continue.

Adam: Every morning. 1 large Breakfast Blend, with a splash of Colombian. No Cream, just sugar... Which ... ive heard..., is also your order.

Mac: Haha. Well. Someone came in ready impress..

Adam: And i can cheers to that. (noise of two stryofoam cups rubbing together)

Adam: Ive noticed youre a Dunkin Man. You like those styrofoam cups, dont you?

Mac: (chugs the rest of his coffee) Half the reason i took this job. wouldnt be caught dead with a K-cup.

Adam: Whats the other half?

Mac: i didnt think that far.

Adam: And i dont blame you. Half the battle is getting up, and that is, the most important part of the battle.

Mac: Mmm. Mornings. And all the tasty treats tht come with it. Nothing like the stingy brown nectar of mornings

Adam: And the thing is - i think coffee is more than just a morning drink. I think its an every hour of the day drink.

Mac: You're preaching to the choir my man.

Adam: i heard they cut you off during the draft. I think thats criminal.

Mac: Only 3 cups in and i was shut down. I was snoozing by the time Hackenberg came around. I thought it was 6th round !

Adam: I know when you werent. that next day when you found Robby on the undrafted free agents. Thats not luck.

Mac: I sometimes microwave cups that are 3 days old. You know I can hit 18 scouting trips in 1 week. No need to sleep when your powered on coffee. They think im this scouting wiz, but truth is, im usually flying off the caffeine and

Adam: Where do you squeege?

Mac: You mean the dump the oil? Anywhere. When "scouting" leonard williams, I was really curdled up against a palm tree on campus blowing a hole through the ground.

Adam: So what! You missed on 1 guy who will have a below average career. Hes still playable.. It was you that created the term "qb hits" right?

Mac: One of my proudest feats. Had to cover my tracks. You know, cause you can get a little parnoid in this business (takes another long sip of coffee). it was right after Manish dropped off one of those 'nespresso' machines for me as a gift. i told him to start looking into QB hits. Came to me right on the spot.

Adam: Gotta nespressyo-self.

Mac: However and whenever.

Adam: So Let me get down to the brown brass liquidy tax of it all. I can easily carry 6 cups of coffee with me. And Ive never once messed up a coffee order.

Mac: 6 cups. But how?

Adam: Lets just say, - I can cleanly operate a pocket.

Mac: Football terms in a coffee-run-talk, eh? (starts drinking another cup of coffee) Thats good. Very good.

Adam: You talking about me, or that arabica blend?

Mac: (looking puzzled..takes another sip and realizes it was a joke) ahhhh! You! Thats a good one. Look at us. Already grinding each others beans...

Adam: We call that one, a slow - roast.

Adam: You know I have this stale nutty candle that i wanted to give to you.

Mac: You didnt have to.

Adam: But I want to. It was Peytons favorite. I like the memories it brings back. For me its after those long nights with Peyton. Filled with his favorite nutmeg spiced night time latte.

(Mac pulls out a hankerchief and wipes the stale brown coffee bean res on it...Then smells the candle)

Mac: Boy do I know what your talking about. It smells alot like my 2nd piss of the day. A coffee scented aroma that fills the bathroom and even leaks into the hallway. Howd you know?

Adam: Two years ago. NFL Combine. I was waiting for the bathroom and lets just say i can smell a coffee connoisseur from a mile away.

Mac: Yeah... (they inch closer together) my pisses can split wood

( then they kiss)

Mac: You know i can really see this relationship lasting. I like you... And in my books, your more than qualified for this role. Youve beaten the Pats. Youve gotten coffee for Peyton. And that checks all my boxes. My work here is done. You know beans and beans know me. Now finish up that coffee. We have a press conference for you to do.

It was a match made in the coffee heavens . Gase impressed with his coffee talk, and Mac, probably on his 8th cup of the morning, drank it all up. With 3 packets of domino. And a couple munchkins.

That really is the only thing im worried about at the moment. If we waste Darnolds entire rookie contract on Adam Gase i'll lose it. Because if this fucking guy thinks he can get rid of Jamal Adams for anything, i'll, simply put, strap dynamite to my chest and go into 1 jets drive. Its just we have a young QB who shows he knows what hes doing. If Joe Douglas is the Joe Douglas I think and hope he is, hed get rid of Gase before Adams, before Bell. Give the dogs something to work with. Give us an OLine. Some corner backs. Get Rid of the medical staff thats killed our entire team. Just keep the guys the fans like, like Darnold and Adams, and Jerricho Cotchery.

On a good note, im pretty pumped the Knicks fianlly fired David fizdale. You can already see the response on Kevin Knox. Finally this Mike Miller fella is getting something out of the kid:

remember when when fiz benched knox and frank and Robinson for the likes of Taj Gibson and wayne ellington? i do

People want to forget, but they usually dont

energy, im still waiting on you, i havent given up yet


2 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page