The no funny business mock draft of 2020 where if you pay close enough attention, you might learn something.
i've written out like 291 of these. But this is the one
1. Bengals do take QB Joe Burrow . he has 0 fun facts. fascinating. would love to get the attendance record for his birthday partys
2. Redskins - DL Chase Young. Ron Rivera will scream on video chat "its called stick it and pick it"
3. Lions- CB Jeff Okudah - jammed his left hand pinky in high school. its been deformed since. and ive used that same excuse .. with my penis and a hot tub jet
4. Giants - SOMETHING Isaiah Simmons - he stinks
5. Dolphins - QB Tua T
6. Chargers - QB Justin Herbert - All American Academic.
7. Panthers - EDGE KLavon Chaisson - he showed up to a LSU football camp with a friend. LSU lent him shorts/helmet/jock strap and he left with an offer
8. Cardinals - WR Henry Ruggs
9. Jags - IOL Tristan Wirfs
10. Browns - WR CeeDee Lamb - tweeted in 2016 "remember this: mayfield to lamb". and i can already hear chris collinsworth talking about it
11. Jets - LT Mehki Becton
12. Raiders - WR Jerry Jeudy - grew up playing backyard football with Lamar Jackson
13. 49er- DT Derrik Brown* - wants to pursue politics after football... the city of SF will demand him drafted. "We want to market the shit out of him. Have him headline our tech conferences and rub it in the face of the other less progressive cities...and yes theyre less progressive. cause we say so. and youll be intruding my safe space if you dont agree".
good for Brown though. His nickname at Auburn was Baby Barack. Which is better than Baby Hussein. Both top my nickname. baby penis
14. Bucs - RT Jedrik Willis
15. Broncos - LT Andrew Thomas - played percussion in his high school band
16. Falcons - DT Javon Kinlaw
17. Cowboys - CB CJ Henderson
18. Dolphins - MLB Kenneth Murray - gave CPR on someone dead.. on the field. after he tackled them.
19. Raiders - S Antoine Winfield
20. Jags - DE Yetur Gross-Matos - nothing fun about his brother getting struck by lightning / or his dad drowning. But a lot of fun for Jag front office ridding of Ngakaka
21. Eagles - WR Justin Jefferson - 4 tds in first half of peach bowl
22. Vikings -WR Brandon Aiyuk - came from JUCO
23. Pats - DE AJ Espeniosa
24. Saints - MLB Patrick Queen - played varsity baseball as an 8th grader. Was a pinch runner
25. Vikings - CB Jaylon Johnson - Had D1 interest at basketball
26. Fins - S Xavier McKinney - he writes messages on his pants. football pants. before games. stuff like : dont forget to call grandma after . or, get 2% milk
27. Seahawks - CB Jeff Gladney
28. Ravens - IOL Cesar Ruiz
29. Titans - DT Ross Blacklock - father coached Harlem Globetrotters . Bet his sack celebrations are gonna be insane
30. Packers - WR Denzyl Mims - only wide reciever in 2020 class taller than 6 ft to run a sub 4.4 40yd
31. 49ers - CB AJ Terrell - sociology major. him and sherman talk about class warfare while making billions of dollars
32. Chiefs - RT Isiah Wilson - he loves Spongebob
No runnings backs in the 1st round
*the mocker in me wants to settle something:
javon kinlaw vs derrik brown for the 9ers. Although Javon is more like DeForest - they prefer the other route with the guy whose more fundamental and polished. fundamentally polished. how every you put it, they arent paying deforest.
** mockee in me also smells a lot of smoke is in the air. Patriots trade down to a top 5 pick. snag Justin Herbert