Welcome back Jetsons! The Vlog Family !
We're back! VLOG 532 gets CRAZY
So take your gang green-thumb out of your ass and smash tht play button. !!!
You dont want to miss this. It's the best vlog ive done. It's got everything. And its SO FUNNY.
In this ep:
i threaten to kill myself if Adam Gase doesn't get fired end of week... and I even debate on if i should use a gun, noose, or if i should strap myself with dynamite and head to hudson yards.
Also be sure RT my last tweet - I'll DM you the gun,rope, and dynamite and a promo code for draftkings for a free bet on the O/U on my funeral sermon.
Seriously. like & subscribe. Im gonna do it
honestly dont read the rest of this. That above is the perfect ending for the perfect blog.
the rest is really more for me to get out some talk for the next head coaching job - cause i gotta do it somewhere. i also needed to add a photo
There are so many reasons why Gase has to go... but none more are more pressing than being able to get the OC of the Cheifs: Eric Bieniemy. An offensive motivator - who can fire up the team.
Look at Bieniemy screaming at his chiefs offense. A superbowl winning offense that was in the lead.. Its just passion from a coach that the Jets havent seen since Rex - and even then it wasnt that cool cause he was into feet and also was white.
And I might sound a little delusional in this next part (but lets be real, its not like the earlier part of this blog about me killing myself was coherent)
The Jets are still OK. We're just in need of a good repair. The Jets are like an 57 fuel injected Chevy. The "Fuelie". We've got the framework. And we're capable of revving... We just need a couple spark plugs and some TLC. And that's Eric Bieniemy. The Sparkplugs.
Just roll up the sleeves and get it done type of fix. And this car/team wants it baby. It's got the ability to be revived. the 57' Fuelie was the first of its kind to allow fuel injection. Meaning Bieniemy can come in and seamlessly install his legitimate high powered NFL Offense.
Darnold is a fine pair of headlights. Theyre just a little foggy and need cleaning.
Becton is the chassis. THe greatest foundation you can ask for. (not an overreaction after 3 games)
Mims a capable sun visor
Herndon the cigarette lighter
Wesco the Bumper? (thats a joke - cut him)
Crowder the side view mirror
And the steering wheel? Well thats gonna be the 1st overall pick that we'll end up with. (...probably trevor lawrence)
The vehicles is a fixer upper. But I swear this thing can cook. Just give her an oil change, rotate the tires, replace all the fluids and see what it can do. Now your telling me you can also throw on some new windshield wipers , clean out the filters and most importantly -- Eric Bieniemy can give it a nice clean paintjob?
Also want to note Chris Berman calls him: Eric "sleeping with" Bieniemy . what a legend.
But until then -
Be sure to join my Patreon/ onlyfans where i peel back the curtains on the misery and provide you exclusive access to my russian roulette livestreaming during all jets games.
LIKE & SUBSCRIBE
(call back joke)
Hyperdrive = turbojet (?)... and if your STILL reading now im sorry but the edible has kicked in and you shouldve taken my initial advice at the way top.
but yeah "hyperdrive = turbojet"
I usually do this thing when writing these, where when an idea pops in, i'll stash it below the paragraph.
And those were the first 3 things i wrote on this blog . Idk its funny to me how after every sentence id see creeping at the bottom hyperdrive = turbojet.
just insanity over here.
just pushing it down till forgotten about. like all my fears ! ! Im a failure.
also emblematic of every blog ive ever written. just pushed through and quickly forgot about.
I guess i was hopeful that the turboJET would be a good pun on the Jets for the hyperdrive bullshit Gase has been talking about....
and judging from your own reaction, you agree it wasnt.
Either way. Your welcome for another insider "peek behind the shower curtains" of my "daily shower cry".