Updated: Mar 23, 2020
hello and goodbye
time for pios first official mock draft of 2020. its that time of the year - mock time. the mocks of the mocks are done and now were ready to mock it up. mock it up all dirty. like a martini. and speaking of tini - your wrong, im huge. so cut the mockery.
beacuase i already have
alright time to get started:
1. Cincinatti Bengals - and as i expected earlier, hasnt changed you idiots. QB Joe Burrow. No brainer. The better question is if Marvin Lewis is still their head coach. I'd love a Jason Garrett / Marv Lewis gladiator type fight for the most consistent successfully unsuccessful head coach at in NFL history . Their determination in that field is fascinating (spoiler: burrow doesnt turn out to be the best QB from this class. bengal luck lets call it)
2. Washington Redskins hold on to this pick and as i predicted what id predict, Ron Rivera will draft DE Chase Young. In fact im going to put my life on it. Ron Rivera wont take a QB this early on in his tenure. Hes an old school "defense gets you to the championship game" so that people will then talk about how "defense wins championships" during the week leading up to . Bottom line - hes come this far in his career to not throw it all on the table on his first year. He's already got a first rounder in Haskins - so its a perfect excuse to take Chase Young. Kinda that win/win scenario. He avoids the immediate hot seat plus gets to knock his rocks by drafting some defensive line freakshow. The Chase is on. The chase For Rivera to top out at 8-8 seasons that is
3. Detroit Lions do in fact trade this pick .. to the Chargers. The lions dip out to the 6th pick and cheese out next years first and this and next years 2nd ... basically they hve to go psycho mode to beat out the fins and woila.
Chargers have the 3rd pick and draft Tua Tag-a-woila. He can sit behind Tyrod Taylor until like week 8 till hes fully healthy because whats most important is Anthony Lynn finaly has his guy at QB. Hes been making ends meat for years out of a dried out rivers. its time to give the man a shot. and the chargers in LA , theyl get more risky than the fins.
... truth is, reports have Lynn been steaming with rage due to previous CSB articles and speculations that the Chargers are just a team "meant" for a "white" "proto type QB" Justin Herbert. "Herbert! ...Lynnt then added "sounds like some honkie from the love bug. He can go straight to hell. Suck it CSB"
4. NY Giants see their pick of the litter with all offensive lineman that they totally panic and draft top CB available Jeff Okudah... Ok.? (ill let you finish that one)
5. The Miami Dolphins now realizing they lost out on Tua - arent sold on Herbert. Beginning a ripple effect that mirrors aaron rodgers for the kid. The Dolphins end up buying on the potential upside for LB Isiah Simmons.. they have too many picks. Like 12 in this draft. Thats fools gold. But not in the good way. Their arrogance kills em
6. Its the Lions back on the clock and theyre pissed Okudah didnt slip to them. Better believe it.
They Trade back - again! just kidding, I dont know. I can see it being an Olineman, or like Cj Henderson... but they take Derrik Brown the random DLineman. and thats all. whatever. next pick
7. Freshly New QB Teddy on the Panthers and they pair him with the best lineman in the draft. Tackle Jedrick Willis - he can be depth, or he can fill in because Russel Okung isnt reliable. Either way it wont hurt to emphasize protection for Theodore and Christian. God I wish Teddy was a Jet. He'd for sure get us the top rated tackle
8. Cardinals are up. They just got Hopkins - they could use a lineman - but they can also dangle the carrot. ....but that doesnt happen
They draft Right Tackle Tristans Wirfs
9. Jaguars - Theyr not going OLine. They go for DLineman with Javan Kinlaw. Because theyre probaby gonna lose Ngakaka
10. Brownies try to mess around to get a triple double (3 2nd round picks) - but they dont. instead drafting tackle Andrew Thomas
11. Jets - Joe Douglas is all about girth. Mekhi Becton is massive. Just cant turn down that opportunity
12. Las Vegas Raiders. Weird to call them the Las Vegas. Anyways they didnt make a move because they have busts Carr and Mariota fighting for Gruden to chew em up, spit them out... then suck em back up with a straw and paperball spit them out to the trash. Gruden wants trevor Lawrence next year. And is happy to take WR Jerry Jeudy. Big splash at WR. Still gets the excitement up for Vegas.
13. SF 49ers. theyve seem to have this ponzi scheme of defensive lineman going on. But it ends here They take CB CJ Henderson.
14. Tampa Bay - There Oline is horrible. They go for OLine Josh Jones. Enjoy retirement Brady. You old fuck
15. Broncos - 2 words. Or is it 3? CeeDee Lamb
16. Falcons - I want this to be QB Jordan Love so badly. Cause I think itd be the smartest thing Quinn would do. It also would play well with my justin herbert angle...see its your classic GM 101 pray and play... a pray theyre striking gold for the future - while a play in the NOW because you piss off matt ryan and squeege 1great year outa him. I love the Love gamble. But Dan Quinn is freaking out. And He wants to pussy foot this. So he takes safety Xavier Mckinney from Bama. THey need the secondary help. And im prtty sure the entire startin offense are first round picks. Quinns a defense guy. but he blows it not taking Jordan love (dont get me wrong love is gonna suck, its just the play hell get from matt ryan after drafting love would make it worth it)......
Falcons take Jordan Love
17. Cowboys - Jerry Jones is seeing stars. He prays Henry Ruggs turns into the home run threat of Tyreek Hill.
18. Dolphins - their 2nd pick - remember that Justin Herbert guy? Yeah me too. But hes not getting picked here. The Dolphins would rather take WR Denzel Mims from Baylor. Pair him with his NFL equivelant Devante Parker and call it a day for the receivers in Miami... After missing the tier-1-Tua, theyres no need to go flyers on 2nd tier QBs. Which is their opinion, man. But the thinking behind this is they still have that other guy Josh Rosen. Truthfully, if i was a mocking man, ...which i am, id mock up a big trade to that Lions pick at #3 and go all in on Tua.
But understand this: Anthony Lynn and Brian Flores are both dedicated and heavily addicted CSB readers . So dont be surprised when a heavy bidding war for the 3rd pick breaks out. Yah Im Multitaking oh so hard right now
19. Las Vegas Raiders - CB Trevon Diggs. They need help in so many spots. And you know Gruden gets a hard on for the athleticism in the Diggs family name
20. Jaguars - Remember that d-end theyre trying to trade? Yannick? Well big trade coming trhu. Jets make the power move and trade for this spot AND Yannick. Youd think we get this spot and Yannick by trading away the most valuable asset the Jets have had in 10 years who already rumored to be shopped
(to be honestly heard, I shat myself too when i saw him trending)
Yet i wont say it. ill never say it.
id rather lock myself in a fridge filled to the brim with soft cheeses and green chilis in the new mexico desert for 4 days than EVER believe or speak this into existence.
But we trade away this years 3rd, and our 2021 2nd and 4th.. AND Chris Herndon for this pick. yeah. "Master Pio, you did it again"
We jump up in the draft and get Jamal Adams the dog he needs in the secondary. Its a testament of faith to our boy. and we make him a Jet for life to lead the defense with LSU Kristian Fulton. ZOLTAN!
Jamal gets a fellow secondary from his alma mater - and the defense gets a pass rusher on a contract year... we were more than fine with Ryan Griffin last year, and Herndon - fuck him. But he's worth the risk for the Jags as hes got a serious ceiling for at TE which will only help Minshaw. Herndon is from Georgia, went to school in Florida. And change of scenario is definitely the selling point for Douglas when he holds on to our future 1st round. Im fully erect
21. Eagles - They get back to the grit with LSU edge rusher Klavon CHaisson. Chaisson the QBs outta phily
22. Vikes - Mike Zimmer has that thing of weird name name players. Sendajo, and i dk i feel like so many more. He just gets these low key guys and has them playing at the highest of levels. They help their depleted secondary (which is never really depleated cause it feels like if needed zimmer will suit up at corner) with CB Noah Ilgbinoghene from auburn
23. New England Patriots - Yeah. Exactly what I was thinking. QB Justin Herbert . god damnit
24. Saints - Demario Davis is great and all - but they just need that all pro general talent right in the middle of that D. and Thats Kenneth Murray ILB from Oklahoma. Would be an amazing fit for the saints. Lets Demario focus on run stopping. either way you try telling me you wouldnt root for this dude on the saints
oh wait wrong guy
just for comparison - vilma was 6 1 , 230lbs
murray is 6.2 240
25. Minnesota again after the Stefon trade. Theyre just gonna go WR here. Lavishka From Colorado
26. Dolphins missed out on the QB. And I know, Brian, when youre reading this, understand that you did hear it here first.. Eat it
But you take your secon LSU player - Safety Grant Delpit
27. Seattle with pass rusher something Gross
28. Ravens draft LB Zach "Lloyd" Baun . feels like tey need a inside linebacker
29. Cornerback Jeff Gladney. Slot guy. Titans lost secondary depth.
30. Packers - Tee Higgins WR - i personally think this guy stinks. but aaron rodgers changes everything. this adds to a dimension needed to spice things up
31. 49ers- and yeah. believe it or not. Joe Douglas is hungry. What? the jets again? What? He trades the 9ers for this pick. Gives them the 2nd rounder. the 48th. theyre back in the 2nd round. But what makes this deal a homerun for both sides is we send them Quincy Enumwa. Whose your umwa? the 49ers are in the 2nd round and gets a steal of a wr for their type of offense.
The Jets who are living in 2006 take Michigan C/interior offensive lineman Cesar Ruiz. Cause RIP carl. the ruizing legend. and youll see me ruizing big time after a big time draft like this
last and least pick
32. chiefs first instinct has them picking CB AJ Terrell from Clemson.. but then you realize, andy won with offense. his guy mahomes is what matters. They take the O tackle from USC Austin Jackson.
there ya go folks. Pios 2020 , 1.0/3.0 mocked up mockless draft.
Jets are the big winners.
*i saw my fellow blogger kav had a nice format** .. i mean he went all out. upstaging big time for the big stage. it was the whole 9 yards with the bolding and the underlining and italicizing - which, speaking of, is it italicize because it comes from italy and they speak with that certain type of pizzazz-a you could only imagine being emphasized with italics ? cause cantyou see all the gestures -- whether hands face or cigarette that accompany this style ? ? idk. just some food for thought. which is funny too cause italy has all that good hearty food. and speaking of hearty - how about that hearty corona virus ? maybe now the italians will think twice before they embrace that living with your 94 yr old cig smoking mother while kissing each ohter 18 times on the cheek, and sucking the dinner sauce off the finger bone culture
**i wont be cleaning my blogs up like the other guy