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Writer's picturePeter Klaven

Canada announces $100k per person stimulus package on March 31. One day later they say April Fools!



OTTAWA -- In an unannounced press conference on March 31st, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a plan to distribute $100,000 to every Canadian citizen to help make up for lost income during the COVID-19 pandemic. The announcement comes on the heels of United States President Donald Trump announcing a stimulus package that would grant $1200 to all citizens who bring in under $99,000 a year.


The announcement by Trudeau was met with cheers and applause across the internet. "Canada is more than just America's hat!" reads one tweet from @BuddyGuyFwiend. "Another example of socialism beating capitalism" tweeted internet personality @AOC.


The party came to an end when one day later, on April 1st, when Trudeau said "April Fools!" in a statement for immediate release.


"April Fools has always been my favourite holiday" Trudeau said with a heavy emphasis on the word favorite. "When you publish this, please put a U in favorite like they do in England" said Trudeau.


"I didn't think people would believe me. I mean, $100,000 per person? That's like a bazillion dollars in total. This is Canada. We don't have that kind of money. Do you think people will stop talking about my blackface picture now?" added Trudeau.



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Jack Zimmermann
Jack Zimmermann
Apr 01, 2020

Spicy

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