Updated: Apr 23, 2020
I attended the Knicks Wednesday night humbling against the Memphis Grizzleys this week..
Interactive blog: (its what the kids are up to.. right?) pick your own storyline, follow this story, or skip on by.
SO Funny thing about the Memphis grizzlies. Master Pio once attended and got banned from the Memphis Grizzly arena all in one night. Was like 2015 and I was moving/driving to california and we stopped in Memphis for a night to experience the bbq and the homeless .. The grizz were at home vs the then Lebron Cavs and so why the hell not. I mean it IS zach randolph.
I vividly remember entering the FedEx Forum, only to learn it's called the grindhouse.. Yeah my brain exploded. The GrindHouse AKA The house that Zach Randolph built... About half way through the game I bought a basketball after boxing out some chicks at the pretzel stand. You know, in honor of ZeeBo.. and to see if urban legend was true that if you boxed someone out well enough you could actually taste Zach Randolphs sweat in your booz. The Grindhouse? aka the sweathouse. Cause those chicks were huge.
Anyways by the end of the game I was all hopped up on Zeeboo fuel that i ran onto the court, stuck my ass into the paint, and after positioning myself on the low post --which is and was Zach Randolphs turf, his sweet spot, his money maker, I tragically missed a layup. Now maybe i didnt box the soda vendor out well enough or maybe i didnt grunt enough, or maybe ZeBo just didnt see me worthy of the grindhouse - but 1 trespassing charge later... and now i have a life time ban from the grindhouse. While they have a life time ban from me. Chicken or the egg thing. Im too embarased to show my face around Zebo's turf again.. I am though still pissed about how the did me dirty and kept my basketball. Probably burried or put it in an industrial furnace or liquified and injected into opposing teams blood. More likely than not though, Zach Randolph ate it. Just to get my scent in case i ever returned.
Back to the original storyline: Hello! Human A say hello to Human B, or otherwise known as Schrodingers Cat. (we talked about this while you were off reading my stupid Zach Randolph sweatbox story)
Wednesday night action: Knicks vs Grizz, and nothing in your life will ever be more frustrating than watching a knicks game. Either live or on TV. You just se the misery happening like a slow motion car crash. They always make every other player on every other team look incredible. Its unbelievable. From their role players, to the plays, the execution, even the way the ball bounces/rolls -- everything seems to work out.. It's like every team playing the Knicks seem so functional that they're geared up for THE championship run. Like were never that team thats causing the headache. Weve always got the headache.
And of course, we're the sweet spot for streak breaking - and lucky Memphis Grizz entered this game on a 9 game away losing streak. Ha
So alright. That was fun? No? Well it's about to be. Back to the interactivity's. You got a few more segways from here.. and im going to let you choose your own destiny again. Gotta keep up with the times. Adapt or die
If you want to talk about corona virus, the year of the rat and the coincidence between MSG and the msg in your general tso's - go down this path.
...if you prefer not to and maybe learn about Shrodingers Cat than skip ahead.
It was chinese new year night. Which meant Year of the rat at MSG. Yeah. Thats what i was thinking. Are we talking MSG In my general Tsos?
No. Madison Square Garden. And it's the Chinese year of the rat in the sky as we're days away from some freakin virus entering the states. Its fucking everywhere And Ive been petrified doing everything. Its only a matter of days until the rona makes way to NYC. And truth be told, i thought theyd give a shoutout to the corona with some 6 pack deal, or even some knicks facemask at our seats so the whole crowd can cheer responsibly and in unison .. like a chinese marching band, but i guess not.
Guess year of the rat is just for wealth and fertility - and 2020 is the metal rat. Metal? I dont know what they put in their MSG over there. BUt i want in.
Either way We were blessed with the dragons of doom dances, the komonos, and the rats running around. No free anything - which i'd say is more standard Madison Square Garden than Chinese.. China a place that only gives away free viruses. MSG a place that litterally sucks your soul and crushes you.
MSG = MSG . You keep coming back thinking its going to be different. This fucking place , just like whatevers in chinese food always makes you feel terrible the next day. Theyre just so similar. You think your loving every moment of it. But then you realize its drugged you up, stolen all your money, underdelivered, and now youre on your toilet crying.
Alright, alright. Intersections once again collide. We're back together. Imagine if you were off learning about Shrodingers Cat? and not learning about Master Pio's fears about the virus? WHen are you going to realize that this is all a lesson on fabric theories and quantum mind? That youve been down both roads. You know where this is going.
THE KNICKS SUCK
It came to my attnetion that its also been exactly a year (give or take some cats) since the blockbuster trade which sent Porzingus to the Mavs. In return we got a couple 1st round picks, DSJ (dennis smith jr), wesley "snipes" matthews, and deandre jordan. Who cares about the big latvian baby and his trustworth maternal instincts for an older brother -- we were able to clear the contracts of hardaway and courtney lee so we could go off into free agency and spend 100million on 4 power forwards who are the new york knicks players of past like a Taj Gibson, or a Julius... Randolph? Or a Bobby Portis who looks like hes 38.
Basically - did we ever change from the days of Malik Rose or Jared Jeffries? Have i diverged onto a path that's so familiar ...that its not familiar at all? Is there a Pio out there, writing at Business Sports Comedy - whose seen the Knicks win?
This is who we started:
marcus morris, julius randle, taj gibson, reggie fuckin bullock, and eldrige payton
but im passed that pain now. im onto DSJ
Cause of course I got my moneys worth being able to watch the misery and horror thats dennis smith jr. Because let me tell you. He absolutely stinks. He basically was out there playing for the grizzlies with 4 turnovers in 13 minutes...
But look - if ive gone down this path before, i know how to do it again. Justifitakecions. It isnt like we traded someone away whose now completely different to what we know...yet .... Like KP wasnt even playing for us last year. He was threatening to leave the country with his bang bro Janis. KP doesnt know how to be lizard man. And obviously he was calling for a massive contract - of course he would. He starts every season with like 25 points, 100 blocks and atomic missle threes... yet he dies by the winter.
And look at this year.. of course KP starts the year out flying... He freaked out in Oct/November but look what hes done during this month of Jan: hes averaged 13 points on 35% , 6 rebounds and 70% from free throws in 24 mins a game. Not to mention he missed 10 games at the end of december due to another freakish injury.
He doesnt have the legs... and allow me to continually beat this take in, like a dead house.. He isnt a max contract , negotiate with terrorist worth.
A stretch? you tell me.
But I say maybe Injury-Pronzingus should be the one who starts stretching.
Look DSJ is miserable.(multitaking - we're all on the same page and path here)
Dennis Smith, the guy who sized up Frank in the draft, the guy Lebron called us out about. Averages 5 points a game and looks like he'd even be trash at soccer.. In fact every night i pray to hell that he'll soon be in hell (like sacramento or Phoenix) so more room will open up on both the floor and in Franks personal life for him to breath. Let alone have Payton and his shoving of Jae clam crowder (which i was down for).... but then were talking about Reggie Bullock, who i cant even get into right now.. Trier on the bench, Wayne ellington? Kadeem Allen - i mean get em all off the team. I want to see more Knox, more robinson, less bullock. More sell the team chants.
But my point is this: at least we dont have DSJ signed for the next 5 years at 30+mil a year. (porzingus new contract with the Mavs). At least we can look towards anthony davis.. or the raptors GM.. At least weve got some draft picks and some leverage come the trade deadline. I know, seems like ive made my choice on this shrodinger cat. Yeah im still trying to loop that back in only cause i really like the interactive premise. Maybe the kids are onto something. We'll talk during the playoffs. We'll see how KP holds up. My money is on black. As in rat color. ... if that flying rat doesnt get to us first
And dont forget, a urinal crab dribble will result in peepee pants